weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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