The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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