At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
