I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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