cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we're making bets on your personal life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
