yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
