I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
