tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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