There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize