I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
