he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
