OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
