just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
