Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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