I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
