I feel like I'm in dance class right now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Boobs speak an international language.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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