i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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