This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
