On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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