I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
