epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
