Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
