My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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