Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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