I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
