I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
