i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
nutella sex= disaster
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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