Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
