is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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