I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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