smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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