I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
