i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize