Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I sprained my soul last night
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
