Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just invented taco cereal.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
