didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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