you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
