I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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