You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
