Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
