I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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