And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
