next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
