Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize