He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
