if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
God, I missed his penis.
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