she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
