Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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