they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
