Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
