One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
