How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize