dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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