sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Text me some of your sweat
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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