Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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