he shaved USA in his pubs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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