you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
