Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
