my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
