What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
