so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
